k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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