Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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