you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
