how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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