She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize