i need an iv and a liver transplant
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Too much gin, very little bucket
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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