Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
