You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
two words...techno handjob
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize