..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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