He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize