Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
