Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
