Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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