Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
