my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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