it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize