i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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