so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
