so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
