i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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