You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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