Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
