fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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