i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
