Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
