So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
