On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just gargled with NyQuil
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
