dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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