Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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