New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
