Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
