She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
