well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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