when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize