Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
