Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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