Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize