I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize