So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
