I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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