its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
