Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
