If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
