I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
