since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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