Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Farmville is her only friend.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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