Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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