i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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