Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize