I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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