I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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