I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
