Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
