so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
