Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
