and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
