i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
