mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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