Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
only you would photoshop your dick
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
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