I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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