What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
