Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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