Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
