There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize