Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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