i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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