There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
