making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
