At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
my sisters under your porch take her home
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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