I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
