we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
