i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
