I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize