Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
