I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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