Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize