I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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