Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
