Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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